The GO sounds of H.O.A.!

So, as usual, it's been a loooong time between posts, but this time it's not my fault. This post was held up waiting for an eBay package that took forevvvver to get here. Another future post is gonna be on my biggest purchase since starting HOA, but it's currently being repaired by more skilled hands. There's a hint to what it is in one of my pictures this post.

I've been wanting the Revells "Go sound of the slots" record ever since reading about it in the fantastic "Bubblegum Music is the Naked Truth" book, and I recently scored a copy. It's a Slot car themed surf/drag record mostly penned by the late Gary Usher. You may know Mr. Usher for his work with the Byrds and the Beach Boys. He co-wrote "409", amongst other hits...that's even his car revving up at the beginning of "409". Most of the songs on here sound like a second rate Beach Boys, unsurprisingly...but my favorite song here is actually a faux soul number that reminds me of the Who's cover of "Please, Please, Please". It's also one of the few songs on this record NOT written by Gary Usher...but I bring him up because he'll surface again later in the post. Anyway, hear "My Little Slot Coupe" here.

Also in this picture is a record by a band called The Revengers. I found it at the local Salvation Army, and I can't find ANY info on it. from the label I've gathered that it was a local Coldwater, MI band in the 60's, and it was recorded in the Holland, Michigan area, but that's all I can find. The a side is decently done country-ish rock, but that's not really my bag...Listen to the surf instrumental "Revengers' Theme" here.



Lastly, we have "The Big X-L" by Ougie and the Ougots. I found this randomly in a pile of my dad's albums that he hasn't listened to since the 60's...but he claims he has never seen it, so I assume it belonged to my uncle Christopher, who was killed in Vietnam. All I've been able to find on these guys is one picture online, and I learned that they were from Georgia. Big X-L refers to the Ford Galaxie 500/X-L. Check it out here.



The kid's record player pictured I found real cheap at our local antique mall along with the Lesley Gore record. The record on the turntable is a beat-to-hell copy of J. J. Barnes' "Baby Please Come Back Home"/"Chains of Love". Some of you may know "Chains of Love" from the Dirtbombs' cover of it on "Ultraglide in Black". The green and white Platter Pak is from UHF in Royal Oak, MI, and the monster button is from the vintage clothing store next door. The orange swirl Platter Pak I scored on Ebay, after losing out on many others of the same design. I wish it was in better shape, but whatever...It's still awesome, and it's in use too.



The Humdinger Monster was apparently a 1 quart shake. In my quickie, half-assed research I found some neat Humdinger Monster puppets from '66 and an ad, but nothing saying who made the Humdinger.



Lastly, My newest eBay score...more Gary Usher madness! This JUST arrived on my porch today. I still need the other 2 Mr. Gasser albums...and I REALLY need the Weird-ohs and Silly Surfers LPs...if anyone's holding.

Don't trust anyone under 30!

Hey-a, loyal readers! Like always, it's been a long time between updates. I've been up to a lot lately. One thing I did since last update was have an art show as part of the return of the amazing Chicago Blackout. I sold a lot of paintings, but this one was one of my favorites!



Another thing I did was turn 30. The Hemingers got to play a super fun show in Kalamazoo with Peach Kelli Pop for my B-day...here's a pic!



I finally got my hands on one of these nifty bird banks. I almost got one a couple years ago, but when I showed up at the antique store with money, it was gone. This one is in REALLY great shape, and still has a key to open the bottom and a scroll with a poem on it intact. It's made by Oy Mk Tuote Ab in Finland, in I'm guessing sometime between '65 and '72. Gonked Glooked Slurped wrote about these a year or so ago.



Here's another view of it on my cruddy living room couch.



I got this neat ceramic drunk monk bank from the local goodwill for $2. There's no maker's marks, and I assume it's just something someone made in a ceramics class.



This folk art PBR can man was at one of my favorite local antique stores. It's neat but when you lift his can....



....he has a wang! The rubber band is broken, but when you lift the can, he's supposed to get a boner. I had to buy it, 'cuz I'm nothing if not classy!



We picked up this nifty Stanley cabinet last summer in Lansing, and I never got around to uploading the pictures until now. Our friend Colleen wrote about this exact cabinet last year on her excellent Space Age Squirrel blog.



We had our eyes on it for a long time, but it was out of our price range. Every time we saw it, it got a little cheaper until we finally snagged it for $95.



It's at Melanie's bakery,and is currently LOADED with antiques...and the bakery now has a cooler floor. Right after we got this, my mom scored a pair of even better cabinets by stanley at an estate sale for $75. I'm jealous!



There are no manufacturer markings on this KILLER chair. We found it in Marshall, MI at another of my favorite antique shoppes. I now need a giant world map with red pins marking my next targets, and a long haired cat to pet while I plot evil deeds.



This picture is in the bakery basement, but it currently sits in the office. Any info on the manufacturer would be much appreciated.

Mega Yard Sale Madness!

The second weekend in August, much like city wide trash pickup, is something I see as a holiday. It's the weekend of the US 12 yard sales that stretch from Detroit to Chicago. Just my luck, US 12 is the main drag here in Coldwater, and about 3 blocks from my house. Every year I get up early-ish on Friday, and make it about 20 miles East by time things start winding down at 5. Saturday, I head West and make it about 30 miles. West isn't usually as good, and this year was no exception. Sunday I rest. This year was hands down my most fruitful year...and I'll show you why.

I found this neon green shelf at the VERY FIRST sale I hit at the Masonic Temple in Downtown Coldwater. It's the most expensive purchase of the entire weekend. It was 8 bucks, and a great start to the festivities.



I found this as I was getting ready to head home on day one. I was skipping a lot of stuff at this point, because money was getting low, and you usually don't need to stop the car to tell if a sale is gonna be shit. Then I spotted this sitting WAY back from the road leaning against a barn. Thanks 20-20 vision! I jumped outta the van practically before I had it stopped. I was expecting it to be pricey, because it was in an area with a lot of antique stores. Nope. one dollar...and the thing is HUGE. It needs a little work, but I think I can make it look real nice with little effort. On the back it says 1963, and I forget the manufacturer name...and it's down at the bakery, and I'm not walking down there right now, as it's like 5 am, and I need to go to bed...but I bet the same company made these, from my Christmas post.



I got this pair of Keane-ish sad eye paint by numbers for a buck at a sale of mostly antique farm stuff, being picked over by a couple wagon loads of Amish. Melanie hates paint by number paintings, but I think with these I'm starting to change her opinion. Hopefully soon she'll realize that the giant paint by numbers last supper at the antique store is a necessary purchase after all.



Either my dad or my grandma had these hanging on the wall when I was really little...I don't remember which. Our last name being Lyon, there was always lion stuff everywhere when I was little. Anyway, the pair from my childhood were all gold, but otherwise the same. I had totally forgotten about them, having not seen 'em since I was probably 5 or 6, but when I was in Cleveland at Flower Child, I saw a pair in the basement and memories came flooding back. Unfortunately, they were beyond my budget...but luckily, I found these two at a garage sale for a buck each.



These were my last purchase on Friday. They were 50 cents. They're Japanese, and neat, and that's about all I have to say about them.



Gotta love Platter Paks. One of the few things I collect that are neat looking AND useful. This one, however, is in REALLY dismal shape, so I probably won't use it to store anything. I didn't have this pattern yet, so despite being held together with scotch tape, I still had to drop $5 on it. I had to talk the lady selling it way down. She wanted me to buy the records she had in it too, all for $30. I don't need anymore Herb Alpert or Firestone Presents Christmas records, thank you very much.



My local Salvation Army was having a sidewalk sale, and they had a bunch of records on display in this. When I bought it($1.75), The ladies that work there said they couldn't believe it sat in there for so long without me buying it(since I scour for records there several times a week). I asked if they had records in it while it sat in the store. Nope, they used it to display shoes. The ladies at the Salvation Army are not very bright.



I don't know why this picture is sideways...It doesn't appear on my camera or my computer that way. I bought these speakers for a buck out of the back of a rusty trailer full of random junk. I think they look kinda cool, and I thought it was worth a buck to clean them up and see if they work.



I found these Martin Denny records at 2 different sales about 5 minutes apart. Every now and then, I go through an Exotica/lounge kick, so I need plenty of Martin Denny and Esquivel records and Shag books on hand at all times. Besides, it's hard to beat Martin Denny's album covers!



Speaking of Martin Denny, this is one of my favorite album covers of all time...Gee, I wonder why! I didn't get this at the garage sales...but you know, it'll probably be a REALLY long time before I talk about Martin Denny and his record covers on here again.



I got this REALLY clean Kyu Sakamoto record off the same guy I got the Martin Denny "Exotica" record from. He was a really cool guy that picked this up when he was living in Japan in the early 60's. I talked to him and his wife for a really long time. I didn't know what this was when I bought it, as there is nothing but Japanese writing on it, front and back...but I LOVE the cover, and the vinyl is clear red, so I was sold! I think I'm gonna put his cover of "Good Timing" on my Christmas mix this year.



This was my find of the year. Hands down. The guy selling it was a total asshole too, so it made the score even sweeter. He had a filthy barn full of shit, nothing priced. I heard him gouging the shit out of everyone trying to by stuff. I went through box after box of mouse eaten, dirty, moldy, stuck together, often sleeveless records. Out of ALL of them(probably 1500 or so), I pulled three worth buying. This, a Kraftwerk record(TOTALLY out of place amongst the mostly awful 50's/60's goodwill records), and ANOTHER Martin Denny record with an attractive woman on the cover(when a formula works...). I asked how much he wanted for records and he grabbed them out of my hands, and started looking them over. "What the hell is THIS?!" he asked about the Kraftwerk record. I started to explain Kraftwerk, and he just started talking over me/making fun of me. $5 bucks a record. "Well, you can put these two back then". I already have the Kraftwerk record, and I can't foresee ever dropping $5 on a rough Martin Denny record from a dirty barn. After I paid he said "WAIT! IS THAT BUDDY HOLLY?!" Yup...first pressing, really clean too. He wanted it back, and I found a few semi-polite ways to tell him to get fucked, and he made fun of me some more, but without much sting, because I had won the battle.



I got a lot of other neat stuff too...some novelty pins that I seem to have misplaced, and will have to wait until another post. A Ton of art supplies, a few more records...Jimi Hendrix, ect...some Wacky Packages cards. I can't wait until next year!

Pulp Friction; a quick peek in my big box-o-steamy, sleazy smutty paperbacks

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When I Say I'm In Love, You Best Believe I'm In Love..L.U.V!

Ah, Saint Valentine's Day...a fake holiday invented by card companies...and candy companies..and flavored lube companies. I'm not a huge fan, really. I prefer Christmas and Halloween and My Birthday. Hell, I prefer Thanksgiving, The 4th of July, New Years, City-wide junk pickup day, and Hollywood Week on American Idol. My girlfriend always ends up working On Valentine's day, and everyone else is either out being romantic with their significant other, or complaining excessively about being alone. I used to look forward to the History Channel's 2 hour St. V-day Massacre special, narrated by Paul Sorvino, but I never came across it this year, which is too bad. Anyway, this year wasn't too bad, even though Melanie was working. She got me a big bag of Kit Kat bars and took me record shopping the next day, so now I've finally heard the new King Khan and BBQ record. Plus I found a long outta print Zodiac Killers record I didn't have, so Happy Valentine's day to me! Anyway, enough rambling...

A few years ago, my old band was playing a house show in Grand Rapids. I wish I would have taken pictures of the place. The Kid that owned it had inherited it from his grandparents, who designed and built the killer ranch house in 1956. It looked straight from the pages of Atomic Ranch. Really an amazing place to explore, since most of the guy's grandfolks' stuff was still there. He knew I was into neat old junk and asked if I would be interested in some old Valentine's and X-mas cards. Turns out, his grandma and great grandma, and maybe even great great grandma were all elementary school teachers. He ended up giving me 2 large Hefty bags full of old valentine's cards, the earliest dated one being from 1901, the newest being sometime in the late 70's. Condition ranged from half mouse eaten, to looked like it was made yesterday and still sealed in the original envelope. I (poorly) scanned some of the best ones.

These ones are all from the early 1900s, mostly made in Germany.



The girl with the bowl of cherries has a tab on the back that makes her arms move, to look like she's woofing down the cherries. The other girl has a tab on the back that moves her eyes, and used to turn the pages of the book she's holding. The Fatty Arbuckle-looking kid is cool, but I added the other creepy kid as space filler.



Nothing says 'Be my valentine' quite like some good ol' American racism. the black girl's arm moves, and on the back, somebody wrote "Happy Birthday, Happy New Year, Merry X-mas. Happy 4th of July. Nuts To You Nancy. XXX".



move the heart on the side of the card, and the boy moves his arm, I don't know if it was intended to be as dirty as it seems, but I have a suspicion that the guys at the card company had a few giggles over this one. I'm not sure what it says at the bottom, as it's missing a chunk, but I imagine it's something filthy! The cowboy and Indian engage in some light bondage, while the pervo bear has a message for you in his sweaty jacket.



These two cards fold out as shown. Pretty cool pre-WWII cartoon art.



The chalkboard girl's arm spins, and the chalkboard says all sorts of generic lovey stuff. Pull the bottom Dog's ear to move his eye and tail. I think the bottom two cards are from the 1930's, the top two from the 1940's.



...and a few more cool one's from the 30's and 40's.



I got these both for 99 cents at two different Goodwill stores, the Blue one(R&W Berries Co's 1971) here in town, and the devil(R&W Berries Co's 1972) in Battle Creek. I'm sure they were someone's Valentine's gift at one time.



I got this bad-ass rock art(or whatever you call that stuff...little glued-on colored rocks) poodle for Melanie for Valentine's day this year. It's gotta be from sometime in the 50's or 60's...not sure. She loves it, so do I.



Finally, I got this at the other Goodwill in Battle Creek last year, and it's one of my favorite possessions. It was in a huge box of pretty terrible art I imagine was donated from some community center art class. The sweater and the girl's hair are textured with puff paint. It doesn't show up great here, but the teeth are drawn in pencil. The hands are all shaped weird and stubby. There's some random glitter on the guy's shirt for no reason. But they sure are in love. Happy (late)Valentine's Day!